One Million Shitty Husbands and the Women Who Love Them

A million miles to go now, geographically and otherwise. Every other day a new situation comes up just in time to join us for breakfast. I feel like a zombie, no more or less than I have here almost the whole time I’ve been here. Regardless though I will destroy all of it as much as I can and as hard as I can otherwise I will go off somewhere else. I feel like a liar sitting around telling stories all day. I never want to explain anything to anyone so any of these randoms I see, they don’t need to know how anything is going. The rest, I don’t take serious, or believe anything that comes out of their mouths and never fully can or will. Kind of sucks to be this now. At least I'm not xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxxxx and never will be, fuck that noise.

Remember when people would do some shit? I have like six days left here. This new shitty event is making this less of a reality, but we'll see. If I have to delay this any longer I will definitely be in a bad area of life. Anyway, for those six days it should be time to do some shit. Wait, I am just realizing this right now. I should probably go worry about that somewhere else. I really need to not do this typing anymore, or looking at shit I don't need to be looking at. I do make things easier on myself though.

Oh tonight we went to this thing in a theater and fuck do I hate when people talk or whisper in the theater. It does that thing where it you know, bugs you. This gentleman in front of me shushed the shithead next to me who was with what I assume was his woman, and just acting like a total nerd, and then blatantly checking out this really gross fake tits woman that kept walking by. Anyway, this shit would not shut up and thanks to this other guy who also CAN'T FUCKING TAKE YOUR SHIT did something about it. This event was Seth Family Guy dude and some others from the show, hosted by Bill Maher. It was pretty funny and interesting, and I'll miss doing this kind of thing when I go back to Boston, but anyway, good times.

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(2004)

Eddie W. Peachtickets would come to my house in the summer months and bring homemade lemonade; we would sit on the porch and talk about different women we dated, how the Braves were doing, and the railroad. Eddie W. Peachtickets was the kind of guy you could count on. I don’t think he had any enemies, that Eddie W. Peachtickets. I bet Eddie W. Peachtickets is somewhere right now helping someone out with something. A very unselfish man, Eddie W. Peachtickets. The first time I met Eddie W. Peachtickets was in the shop with Darren Hedgehogger, Phyllis Dementia, and Natalie Nightwings. Darren Hedgehogger, Phyllis Dementia, and Natalie Nightwings and I were discussing a recent fight out in front of the firehouse involving Chet Chickarini and Ned Slapadino. Evidently Ned Slapadino called Chet Chickarini’s wife a two-timing piece of trash to Larry Lasagna. Chet Chickarini caught wind of this from a friend and went down to confront Ned Slapadino. Anyway, Darren Hedgehogger, Phyllis Dementia, and Natalie Nightwings and I were discussing this fight in the body shop when Eddie W. Peachtickets walked in and asked if we could help him move a chair into his van that had fallen out when he stepped on the accelerator at a red light on the corner; we happily obliged, and then invited Eddie W. Peachtickets to join us for a cup of coffee and some conversation. Darren Hedgehogger, Phyllis Dementia, and Natalie Nightwings ended up leaving around midnight, and Eddie W. Peachtickets and I sat around talking about boats and Bob Hope movies for a few more hours. Thus began a long friendship with Eddie W. Peachtickets that continues to this day. Albeit it’s via phone, as I’ve since left town, I still consider Eddie W. Peachtickets to be one of best friends in the world.