Blue One

Can barely keep my eyes open and I’m surrounded by boxes and bins and piles of music and notebooks and toys and everything else I own. Everything spread out on the floor and couch. I have been throwing stuff out as well. I like shedding items, throwing things out I don’t need to see anymore. Being sentimental is one thing, I’ll hold on to cards and that kind of thing. Some of the things I collect myself through the years though, if I even have to ask the question “do I really need this?” I throw it out. The second something is questioned you usually know the answer immediately. This happens with other things too. I’ll deal with all that later though.

How many times a year can you experience being let down? I will move ahead and out of the way though. I can’t watch games or listen for promises that never happen. I can’t sit around and wait for things to happen if people can’t stay at the same speed. I wait and grit my teeth too often. I wait and make outrageous faces and look to the sky for some sort of answer that doesn’t exist. It has always been this so why would it ever change?

I can’t listen to “sad” music right now. Well, I have been listening to Nick Drake among a number of piano players, but avoiding a whole slew of songs that were all okay like a week ago. The closer I get to this thing the harder it is getting to get to it. I look and feel like complete shit right now, so it will be nice to disappear into the middle of the country for a week, even though I’ll obviously be iPhoned and interneted and Twittered, etc. the whole time.( I may actually vomit tonight. Ugh.)I made a couple of minor changes to this trip today that I think will be better in the long run.

Was going to try to watch the sunset here before I leave but couldn’t do it; I really wanted to do that on my last trip to the central coast but we never got around to it. That’s the only way I’ll ever want to see one. Not by myself in Los Angeles. No fucking way.

We had this from a nice bench.