Love Songs

“These Foolish Things”

Trying to maintain every day now is hard enough, but doing it seemingly alone is even harder. I miss having an end of the day ear to talk to. I miss a lot of things, regardless of how things happen or why, I feel like I’ve been had over and over. I try and convince myself I must have made some sort of mistake somewhere along the line, but I can’t find any proof.

“I Gotta Right To Sing the Blues”
She made fun of the way I ate soup, and how I had dirt under my fingernails. I should have taken this as a clue to run away. I think she resented me for some odd reason all those years. I think she thought I thought I was better because I was older. I would have crossed the Atlantic Ocean on a hockey stick for her, she knew this, but it was evidently not enough.

“I Fall in Love too Easily”
Lying on the ground a complete fucking mess. The ground is spinning far too fast for me to feel insecure and embarrassed. I want to fuck someone tonight. I wanted to fuck. Well, I wanted to go home with a bigger ego. All I got was this lousy headache.

“Just One of Those Things”
I remember she cried while we fucked in my car one night.

“I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm”
We smoked a little bit of marijuana and talked about your parents. Why did we always have to talk about your mother? It was always about your mother. John Lennon warned of old Flattop, and it shut you up for at least 45 minutes. I could always keep you quiet with good music. The more stories you told, or complaints about your mother, the longer the record. “Shit, her mother yelled at her about her job, I better break out the White Album instead of Sgt Peppers.”

“I Loves You Porgy”
I’m a pushover, even though I think I’m not. Go ahead, punch me in the face, and now ask me to make you a mesquite grilled chicken sandwich with mango salsa, on a multigrain bulkie roll, and some red bliss fried potatoes on the side. Go ahead, ask me to take out the garbage, and to scrub under my fingers before I eat.

“They Can’t Take That Away from Me”
Even though my head is pounding a million miles an hour AGAIN tonight, I drink this glass of wine, and I think of inside jokes that have already been created. I think of the wonderful way the wind blows in the car at night in the summertime. My fondest memories are driving back from the Heroin capitol of the Northeast with the radio blaring the Descendents, and watching her pleated skirt billow as she slept with a smirk on her face. I should have thrown her out of the car that night.

“The Nearness of You”
I would go visit her after work. Nobody at work knew about us. She was a disgusting person and I didn’t like anything about her personality or voice. I told her if anyone at work ever found out I would deny it to the end of time.

“I’m Just a Lucky So and So”
Fate always works in my favor. Some of us don’t believe in fate. I think you do control it, yeah you’re right. I like to think of some romantic notion that the one I will spend a lot of time with will be one I “accidentally” stumble upon. The one I run into that I met briefly in passing, but never knew. She’ll arrive at my doorstep with a list of demands, and I’ll search her for drugs and microphones before she can come in.

“They All Laughed”
Taking advice from anyone about relationships or friendships is a big no no. I ask for it from time to time. I give it from time to time, at the end of the day though, every relationship I know of seems doomed. Deep down, looking into eyes people seem exhausted with each other whether they know it or not. Trying to live on and on with someone else to me is horrifying. I think after the last one I shouldn’t kid myself again and think I could ever make someone happy and vice versa.

“Let’s Fall in Love”
It was violent the way it happened. It was violence in my eyes that I never knew I had. I didn’t think I was capable of such actions, yet I made it happen. Long live the morally bankrupt.

“You Go to My Head”
I love that song Sleepwalk, that old instrumental by Sancho and Johnnie or something like that. That song will be the soundtrack of my next night out on the town. I will listen to that song over and over and over and over and still not tire of it. Everyone knows that song, they just don’t know what it’s called I bet. I slow danced with a short girl with dark hair I was in love with at the time to that song. It was hot, and I think we fell asleep like that.

“It Ain’t Necessarily So”
I drove so fast that night. I was a bit scared. I was overwhelmed, confused, and wondered how much bigger the puzzle could get. I was to arrive at the fireworks display early. We weren’t dressed for dinner, yet I made a joke that it was like a scene out of the Great Gatsby. We were in New Jersey for a weekend, yet I was in Hawaii. We talked of weddings and comedians, I thought about how amazing it was that someone could take over my head and make me forget you were there.

“My Funny Valentine”
The first thing I remember is getting a little sick. The next thing I remember is not wanting to ever try it again. I wasn’t “trying it” though. I think he was making me try it. How could you do these things? How can one still look in the mirror every morning, while I write stupid songs about girls in their twenties who won’t love me for whatever reason.

“You Stepped Out of a Dream”
For months I dreamt of her. Good times and bad, high above bright blue oceans I wouldn’t dare step foot in. Now I can’t sleep at night because of her.

“You Don’t Know What Love Is”
The present is the only thing I remember right now. This is good. Presently, it goes like this: Wake up and smile, go to work and relax, come home and laugh my ass off. Fuck the world, twice, I say.