When it is warm too warm to sleep and any idea I ever had about forever is hiding in an unmarked box in it’s fifteenth basement, fire builds in my brain. I feel and see every bad thing coming now two days before it happens. I have several ideas and places I want to be. I have several ideas of what I know will be the reality. Things don’t work out because you wish them to work. Things don’t happen because you will them or want them to happen. They don’t happen when you pray. When your loved one is filled with cancer or whatever else is going to kill them, go ahead and pray and see what happens. Your god sends them to nowheresville, to a void. Enjoy your photographs and memories. All of this shit happening, it’s all my fault. Has nothing to do with fate or because I wanted it to happen. All of the other things though, yeah you know. Those all happen because people are basically shitty. You can’t count on anyone. Everyone lies or is just never there when you really need them or want them.
Today is an amazing day here. The sun is so bright, and I don’t know if it’s these sunglasses I have on but the sky is so blue it looks like the Pacific Ocean. I have a nice cup of coffee here and I can’t imagine a better time to be alive than right now. Things are looking up. I have been getting a ton of writing done, creative writing. I’ve had some great weekends with friends lately, taken some great pictures. I applied for a job that may put me back in California which would be great!
I can’t really deal with the
I actually have to go to the bathroom so I’m not going to finish this one.
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