Michigan

I didn’t look forward to bright white skies and grey sidewalks
I never look forward to this time of year
Icicles wrapped around your face and brain for hours a night
Going to sleep not knowing if I am good enough
Going to sleep with ten thousand sad saxophones swirling around
Why the fuck did I come back here?
Why did I ever think this was the right place?
I connect with nobody here
I don’t have anything in common with New England
I don’t have anything in common with the winter
I’m not a cold person
They all are
Every last one of them
They complain and whine and tell you of headaches and colds and flus on the internet
They compare their hatred of their lives to each other
So and so is not as good as I have it and so and so is better off than I
I spend less and less time worrying about how other people are and feel better for it
I feel better off than everyone
I feel ten thousand times happier than I was say five weeks ago
Four weeks ago
Three weeks ago
Two weeks ago
Everything needs an epilogue and here it is I guess.
It didn’t turn out at all like I thought.
I forgot about 2009 and 2010
I forgot about music I played and songs I sang and stories I wrote and roads I traveled and pictures I took
Everything is gone now
This year is already better ten days in