Esc

Now it’s starting to close in here, the winter. I hate this time of year here. Cold and painful weather every day of your life for however many months. Meaningless holidays. People driving like shit. I feel like I do things a little different than most people, and not better or worse, but just have different ideas of what makes me happy. I think there are a few things I need to do to get back to there.

I rather enjoy a shadow falling on me
Being a stranger for 26 hours a day
Inventing personalities
Inventing ideas
If I can hold my breath for a week at a time
I can keep my mouth shut for a week at a time
I can avoid clocks and newspapers and looking at the sun

I spend way too much time in these songs reliving some long lost feeling from twenty or so years ago. None of this music means much to me now, there are no connections. I try not to be one of these people that needs to relive my youth. I hated my youth for the most part I don’t want to go back there. These folks they want to remain children and not get old. It means nothing right now to me since I have done some things, and want to do some more things and I do some things.

I could go for a week of the unknown
Strangers and even stranger roads and places
I need this one more time before I stop
Before I slow down

My moods start to become more abrasive this time of year. Looking for an outlet or five I can spit venom out of. Looking for ears and eyes to listen to read what crap I have to say. In time this will all be an embarrassing blemish of eighty seven thousand words written and spoken at the same time to people who really don’t want to listen. I apologize in advance I guess? Growing more tiresome I guess are the ones trying to get me to join their party. Or trying to get into mine.