Dear God,
I had just finished getting my blonde dreadlocks up in a ponytail when Bill called me to tell me he would be by any minute. We were going to see TOOL IN CONCERT. I still had no idea if I wanted to wear my Nine Inch Nails shirt or my White Zombie hoodie. OR MAYBE BOTH! I was going to a Tool concert for the fifth time. Let me tell you, Tool is one of the best bands because they are awesome musicians and the singer is like all fucked up and writes awesome lyrics. He is totally twisted. Like this one time on a Tool record they had this guy speaking in German, he sounded like a Nazi or something. It turns out the guy is reciting some recipe! HAHA! That is so cutting edge and intense when I had my cousin who was in the army translate it for me I laughed so hard I spit my Bud Ice all over his copy of Rancid’s Let’s Go! (Which was okay with me because Rancid are not that great, they play punk music which doesn’t take any talent at all to play, like the guys in Tool would never be caught dead playing this simple cheesy three chord stuff and running around stage with leather jackets.)
On the way to the TOOL CONCERT we had to pick up our friend Cynthia. Cynthia is pretty cool, she’s kind of fat but has an okay face and likes pretty good music so it’s all good. One time I almost made out with Cynthia at this party after an Evanescence concert but her mom text messaged her that their dog was sick so she had to go. So we pick up Cynthia and of course she needs us to stop so she can grab a pack of Marlboro Lights and a Diet Mountain Dew.

We arrived at the TOOL CONCERT and it was awesome. All sorts of awesome people there ready for the best band ever to play us a concert. Then they came out on stage. I went into the pit for the first few songs but had to use the bathroom during one of the songs off that Laeturalus or however you spell it album which I don’t like that much. I mean it’s still an awesome album because the music is performed by the guys in Tool who are all top notch musicians who play technical music. Some of the songs on Leaturalius though were so weird I had to force myself to like the music on it which is all good. I just assume the songs are catchy in some weird alternate universe that only Maynard, the lead singer of Tool knows about. LOL.

They had an awesome light show going on during the concert.

After the TOOL CONCERT, we went to the back of the arena and tried to meet the band at their bus but they never came out. Cynthia met some weird guy with one of those Bluetooth things in his ear though. We hung around outside of the bus for about two hours smoking cigarettes and high fiving some of the other Tool fans walking by. They had also just witnessed an awesome concert by TOOL.

We then left the concert area and went to a Denny’s for breakfast. It was awesome in there. These gay club people were in there that probably listened to rap music or something stupid and talentless like Justin Timberlake. All the girls looked like sluts and the guys smelled of cologne. These people probably have no idea that Tool exist, or maybe they heard them on MTV and thought they were cool for listening to that song Prison Sex which is a good song and all but it’s one of the popular ones so it’s not like a song the real fans like. At one point in Denny’s we were laughing and making noise and throwing things around. We barely had enough money to pay the bill so we only left 80 cents for a tip on a $23 bill. LOL. I’m sure the lady was okay though as the place was packed. All those stupid disco clubbers looked like they had money.

We dropped Cynthia off and then Bill dropped me off. I’d have to say this was one of the best nights of my life I’ve ever had thanks to the TOOL CONCERT.